Over the last few weeks, my mind has been reflecting my
journey here on earth and contemplating all that has transpired. This has
really intensified as I fulfill my role of a grandmother. I gaze into the eyes
of my precious granddaughters and just wonder what the world will be like for
them in 15 or 20 years.
When I was a very young child, my father would place me on
his back with my arms safely secured around his neck and instruct me that if I
needed to come up for air, I was to tug on his neck and he would surface. What
excitement I encountered as he dove deep down in the water and began our underwater
adventure across the pool. I loved swimming with my father and holding tight as
instructed. However, all too soon my father surfaced and I questioned him why
as I had not tugged on his neck. He responded that he was worried and wanted to
make sure I was okay. What peace and trust I placed on my father to see me
safely across the pool.
As a young mother, I was blessed with three beautiful
children who fulfilled my dreams of motherhood. My every desire was to be a
valiant and courageous mother who cared for her little angels, help them
navigate their own paths, and teach them to be kind, loving, and have faith to
endure all that life had to offer. Memories of cradling my children, kissing
their wounds, rocking them to sleep, reading them stories, singing their
favorite songs, cheering them on during their sporting events, teaching them
how to clean, throwing parties, the late night conversations both good and bad,
teaching them how to drive, and preparing them each for their high school proms
and graduations flood my mind and still I ponder did I teach them what they
needed to help them endure.
Today I heard a young lady share her story about affliction.
While on vacation with her family several years ago, she had sat down for a
spell and when she went to stand up, she could not. After many tests, the
doctors informed her that her leg bones in both legs were twisted and would
need to be broken and reset. This would happen multiple times and each time
brought excruciating pain and suffering. She prayed for healing and relief many
times. She then began asking the questions, “What do you do during affliction when
you reach out to the Savior and nothing happens? What’s wrong with my faith?”
She became discouraged and felt her prayers were not being answered.
As with many, my personal Goliath came when my husband and I
heard the words cancer. After seeing multiple oncologists, we were told the
best they could do was get his cancer to lay dormant for a while, but there was
no remission and no cure. We were provided initial statistics and the next
course of treatment. Over the next five years, he would endure multiple
treatments and surgeries all to try and prolong his life and maybe live long
enough to find a cure. Most importantly, to have more time to spend with his
family.
This anguish did not stop with my husband’s battle, but
carried through to my children. Each of them dealt with their father’s
affliction in various ways. Their faith in a loving Heavenly Father was now
being questioned. They were now on their own personal journey of self-discovery
and trying to truly learn who they were. I stood captivated by their father’s
faith and love for his family – they were everything to him.
As parents, this affliction truly began our journey of
understanding faith and recognizing miracles in our daily lives. Each day we
are given is a miracle. Our children are a miracle. The ability to love is a
miracle. The ability to forgive is a miracle. Modern medicine is a miracle. The
beauty of the earth is a miracle. Even the afflictions in our lives are
miracles. They are opportunities for us to reflect on our own lives and choose
how we deal with them. We can choose to be bitter, angry, withdrawn, and set
our lives on a course that leads to self-destruction and loneliness OR we can
choose a life filled with blessings, family, forgiveness, and truly see the
world with love, compassion, and a desire to serve.
My sweet husband and I
chose the path of love. We grew to trust our Heavenly Father and in His plan.
While the journey was met with pain and suffering, we encountered great
blessings along the way and gained a better understanding of what it means to
have faith as we were sustained by many friends and family during our trial.
While the outcome of our trial was not what we had hoped
for, our faith and love was strengthened. We never felt alone or that our
prayers were not answered. They were answered in the way our loving Heavenly
Father directed. We learned more about who we are during this trial and that we
are loved no matter what, even when we are broken.
Just as the young lady struggled to understand her
affliction through many personal efforts and harsh words, she learned she had
to rediscover her faith. She knows that God accepts her no matter what even during
her ugly moments.
This reflection while personal, has given me a renewed sense
to be sure I let each of my children and grandchildren know they are loved no
matter what. That I teach them to put their faith and trust in our Heavenly
Father and Jesus Christ to help guide them in their own lives and learn who they are. To always have
hope for a brighter tomorrow and see the miracles that are around us each and
every day even when we have broken legs.
